Trapped in creative block

I haven’t written anything for a long time. I used to write lots of gibberish things once in a while. There were time I used to write short stories, short poems and blogs on different topics. But lately I haven’t done any of these. I planned to write something many times but at the end I couldn’t make it. Most of the time I can’t think of a good topic and sometimes I feel lazy to write. But today I realized I got trapped in creative block.

Creative block is a situation where your creative side of your brain stops working. This a frustrating time when you can’t do anything creative. Creative blocks happen mostly when your are stressed or stuck in personal problem or your didn’t utilized your brain cells lately. For me I think all these were applicable for me.

Lately I was so much stressed with office work that I hardly got time for my own. I used to work till late night and as a result used to start late in the morning. Most of the time of the day, only work was in my mind. When I was a CA student, I used to play different games in Facebook and in my mobile. In past few months, I hardly could get time to play mobile games. I was busy even in the weekends. Therefore, my primary objective during my free time was to sleep as much as possible. I believe “Sleep” is be best medicine in the world.

As I was stressed and got involved with different matters, I didn’t have time for creative works. Even I lost creativity in my office works. After passing CA, CMA and completing MBA, I didn’t have much of the things to study. Even though there was lots of material and journal I wish to study but it doesn’t happen if there is no urge for it. I haven’t studied for a while. So I almost lost connection with my creative side of the brain. I was out of practice and it became difficult for me to write anything. Several times I sat down to write some blogs but I didn’t felt the interest I usually do. Also there was some technical issues with my blog site. Apparently my ISP has blocked access to any WordPress hosted sites. I can’t even access my own blog from my home. This was one big reason for not writing any blog in past few months because it was not possible for me to write anything while I was at work.

All these combined factors kept me away from writing anything. As was stressed with work pressure, I had to use my logical side of brain more often. I stopped using the emotional side. You should know that every person or living thing has two side of brain. One side side is logical side and another is the emotional side. Logical side helps us to function and take decision. On the other hand emotional side helps us to think, feel, have imagination. Creativity comes only when you can use your emotional side. People live and functions by blending both logical and emotional side. If your stop avoiding emotional side, you will become a robot where you will keep working. But if you use only emotional, you will be living out of reality all the time. So ideal scenario is to blend both of the emotional side and the logical side. you can make decision with your feelings not just logic.

Lately, I felt that I have lost touch with my emotional side. So to getting back in touch with the creative side, I started to have a personal time off each day. In my personal time, I walk alone in the street or lie down in my bed while thinking about differ things. Basically I let my mind wonder around. I come up with different absurd theories. Reading books is very much helpful to get in touch with the emotional side. Books help you to feel what the characters in the books are thinking or feeling. You can create your own world for them. So I started reading different books written by different well recognized writers like Sayed Mustaba Ali, Manik Bandhapadhay, Porshuram and Trilokonath Mukhpadday. I’m sure many of you haven’t hard the name of these writers. These writers are from early period of the twentieth century but their writings are totally out of the box for the people of that time.

As I got back to with my emotional side a bit, I now feel the urge to write something. I’m planning to write on a regular basis. I don’t care if there is no one reads my writings. I don’t write for other people. I started this blog to write all my random pointless thoughts. This is exactly what I will do.  I will write all the gibberish thing I want. I will get out of this trap of creative block.

Living in reality & Going beyond expectation

In our childhood we have learned the proverb that ‘Time and Tide wait for none’. This had been part of our study text in order to teach us that time is limited and immeasurably valuable. From this childhood education, I’ve learned that time is short and time management is very much important. Until now, I have not been realized how important time management is. I had busy schedule before but not to the extent I had been till yesterday. I was so much stressed and I had slept less that 5 hour per day. Several times I’ve wished that there were 48 hours in a day instead of 24 hours.

Since yesterday I had been busy with my MBA semester finals, projects and hand written assignments. I had to do all these after my office hours. It was so tiring. The whole semester was like this. Although Friday is my weekly holiday but I had MBA classes on Fridays. That means I practically didn’t have weekend for the semester which is equal to almost 4 months. In this semester I had two teachers who loves taking extra long classes and makeup classes without missing a single class. Sometimes it was so boring and tiring that I felt dizzy and sleepy in the class. I already developed habit of sleeping in the bus but in this semester I have developed the ability to sleep in anywhere. I have slept several time in rickshaw. I think you might get the idea how tiresome this semester was. But gladly the tiring semester have come to the end. My semester final exam are now over.

I am hoping to attend the upcoming August 2015 exam of ICMAB. From April 2015, I was planning to take full preparation for my ‘Advanced Financial Accounting – I (AFA-I)‘ course at ICMAB. However, I couldn’t.  I was busy with my Advanced Stage exam conducted by ICAB. Later I got busy with MBA exams, projects, presentations and term papers. I couldn’t’ manage time to take preparation for ICMAB exams. This is when I realized that time management are very much necessary. I have tried my level best to manage proper time for each and every necessary activities which left me tired and stressed.

However, sun shines after the rain. While I was passing my toughest time during the year, I received a good news. Last week ICAB have published its May-June 2015 exam result. The result showed me that I have passed the CA advanced stage. Advanced Stage is the final level of CA exams. There are four subjects of this exams. Passing the advance stage means qualifying as a Chartered Accountants and becoming eligible for the membership of The Institution of Chartered Accountants of Bangladesh (ICAB). As I have passed the advanced stage, now I have become a Chartered Accountant and eligible to be a member of ICAB.

This was my first attempt in advanced stage exams. I didn’t really expect to pass all four subjects in on attempt.  I required two attempts for both the Knowledge level and the Application level. So I was sure that I will take at least two attempts to pass the advanced stage. Moreover, I knew that passing the final level is very hard and there are many brilliant students who are struggling to pass this level. Compared to them I’m nothing and my exams were not that good to pass all four. So when the result came out, I was shocked and surprised. At first I thought there might be en error or I have seen wrong. But later I was made sure that I have really passed the CA final stage. It was way beyond my expectations and seemed like a dream.

When I started CA, my aim was to pass at least two level of ICAB exams and appear at least once for the final level of exam before I complete my CA articleship (CACC). Alhamdulillah I was able to achieve this target. When I achieved this target, I felt aimless and felt there is nothing left to do. I was getting demotivated. So I had set a new aim to pass the CA advanced stage at the first attempt. I also had the target to pass without paying any annual fee which was applicable for CA students who have completed their articleship. With the blessings of Allah, the most merciful and gracious, I have achieved that target .

Moments after passing CA seemed different than ever. I was unsure with my result while others were congratulating me. I was not sure what to say or how to act. But I was appropriated by my family, relatives, friends, colleagues, partners and senior partners of the A. Qasem & Co. After passing my CA exams, I have been promoted to Manager of Audit & Assurance service from the position of Assistant Manager. I have also been  assigned with a new room at A. Qasem & Co. I’ve received many advises from my senior colleagues. This sort of experiences are new to me. I’m really enjoying these experiences. However, there is nothing that can change who I am. I will remain the same old me.

Revived

Finally I am getting little bit of relaxed time. I finished my Application level exam two weeks earlier. In my previous post I have mentioned that life was becoming hard after passing Knowledge level exam of CA. I had to get admitted for application level coaching class. After result I had only 2.5 months to prepare for next level exam. I thought of appearing 5 out of 7 subjects. But later changed my thought and decided to attend all 7 subjects. Then it got way harder. I had to read all those big books first to last page. Again it not about just reading but I had to put the contents into my head. I had to manage time for class, office and reading. I was getting stressed. But I continued to study.

When exam schedule was announced, I panicked. But skipped few classes in the coaching classes for library work. I collected few notes but I hardly got time to study them. But finished reading all the books just before the exam date. Before the exam, I analyzed my preparation and found that it was not adequate. So become shocked and thought of skipping couple of exams.  Then my father suggested not to skip the exams. I studied hard during the exam and pre-exam week and appeared in all exams. Alhamdulillah all exams went well except for financial accounting. My performance was better than my preparation. And now hoping to pass few subjects.

After May-June exam of ICAB, I am relaxed. I have nothing important to do. Although I had to join in the firm again. I have already seen few movies and finished watching few TV series. Now I feel free and revived. But not for long, as now I will have to start preparing for next exam at ICMAB. God help me…..

Year-end calculation of life!

So another year is gone. 2012 is joining in the page a history. It came with a buzz of dooms day. Mostly people will remember 2012 as a possible year of doomsday. Apart from that 2012 was a historic year for the world. US election, Financial crisis of Greece, London Olympics, Crisis in Gaza and many other important events. For my country, Bangladesh, 2012 memorable too. Many major events took place during the year but unfortunately very few of them are good for the country. But today I’m not writing anything about my country or about the world. Today I will write about my self and was 2012 for me. As an accountant, we have to prepare financial statements at the end of an accounting period. Tonight I set down for the year-end calculation of life.

2012 was a year of expectation, achievement and failure to me. I had so many expectations and targets for 2012. I was able to meet some of them and failed to do others. Through out the year, I experienced many things for the first time. Some of them are memorable for life time and others are ok. But now let me begin the year-end calculation of my life.

Expectations:

1) I was in a turning point of my life when 2012 started. I just finished my internship and was waiting for the grade. I was in so confused about what to do next. I had so many options in my hand. I needed to think very carefully and choose a path. People around me gave different types of advises. I analyzed them very carefully but still had many good alternatives. I was expecting to overcome this situation and choose the right path.

2) When I entered in undergrad program, my target was to achieve CGPA at least 3.50 out of 4.00. When I was waiting for intern grade, I calculated and found that my CGPA will be stuck at 3.49. I was expecting to get an “A” so that it could push my CGPA to 3.50

3) My friend circle always try to organize an annual trip. I was expecting to have another tour in 2012. I never been to Cox’s Bazar and saint martin’s island before 2012. Though these are very common place for tour, I never had the chance to go there. I was hopping to go this time around. Although I had another reason to go there and that was to meet with my girlfriend.

4) I got admitted in ICMAB on December 2011. I was so serious with it. I started to study hard and prepare for the exams. I was expecting to appear in April 2012 exam.

5) When I finished my internship, I was offered a job at that organization. I refused their offer with a plan to study CA. To be a CA was my childhood dream. During November & December of 2011, I applied in different CA firm to join in. However, I did not get any response. I was Expecting that I could start my CA study by 2012.

6) I was expecting to get enrolled in ICAB as quickly as possible so that I can attend in June 2013 exam (it takes almost 18 months).

7) I was expecting to finish reading all the books of CA 1st level (Knowledge level of professional stage) and then start reading 2nd level books.

these were the expectations I started 2012 with. My plan was to fulfill all those expectations by 2012. Now lets come to the my achievements in 2012.

Achievements:

During 2012 I had following achievements.

1) During 2012 I completed my graduation from North South University. I scored my expected CGPA. Though I achieved it not the way I planned. But still I scored CGPA 3.5 out of 4.00. It took me 13 semesters to complete my BBA. Though I planned to finish it by 11 semester. I could actually finish it by 11 semester. But later I changed my plan. Anyway, that’s another story.

2) We had the tour I mentioned in expectation part. Me and my friends went for a week-long tour. Our route was Dhaka–Chittagong-Bandorban-Cox’s Bazar-Saint Martin’s island-Cherea dip-Cox’s bazar-Chittagong-Dhaka. It was a wonderful journey. We had so much fun. And yes, I meet with my girl friend. I won’t never forget that day.

3) I overcame with my confusion and determined to pursue my childhood dream; to be a CA.

4) On April 2012, I joined in A. Qasem & Co. Chartereed Accountants. It is one of the renowned CA firm and the first CA firm in Bangladesh. I got ICAB registration on June and will appear in May-June 2013 exam.

5) I passed one of two subject exam I appeared in ICMAB. Now I’m done with 500 marks of 2100 marks to get ACMA degree.

6) I start auditing. By the end of 2012, I have audited 7 organizations. I went out of Dhaka couple of times for auditing purpose.

7) I finished reading more than half of the books of CA level 1.

I also had few small achievements during 2012. Now let me jump to the failure section.

Failure

Though I achieved many things, I had few failure during 2012. Fortunately the numbers of failure is not that high.

1) I was not able to push my CGPA with intern grade. I had to get back to university for another course. I took taxation course to replace the working capital management course. This increased my CGPA to 3.50. Although my number of credit hours increased.

2) I got several promising and lucrative job offer but I refused them all. Even though I had the opportunity, I did not accept any job offer. Though I am not considering this one as my failure. Instead I should treat it as my strength to stay determined.

3) I failed to finish reading all the books of CA level 1. Still continuing my reading process.

4) I appeared in August 2012 exam of ICMAB. I attended two exams. I passed in one and failed in another. The subject I failed in was Intermediate financial accounting, the subject I like and the subject I thought I was good at.

Loss

During the year I lost my eldest aunt (paternal side). She used to love me so much. I too cared for her. I pray to Allah to bless her soul and put her to Jannah. Another loss of the year  is my friends. I lost communication with most of my friends. After joining in a CA firm, I restrained myself from friends so that I can focus on my ICAB & ICMAB studies. Also I became too busy with auditing. I sincerely hope that my friends don’t forget me. I will get back to them as soon as I finish my articular period or I become a chartered accountant. Till then, I hope they all will be well.

Performance analysis:

During our audit, we do lots of performance analysis. I think I should do a bit of analysis on my performance, expectations, achievements and failure. Despite of failures, the whole year was great for me. I am still following the path I have chosen. I’m still perusing the strategies I prepared for my life. 2012 was ultimately a great year for me. after 2003-5, I got another great year. It is the year when I took the control of the path of my life. I stayed still in the turning points of my life.

2012 was good for me. I hope 2013 will be good too. I hope 2013 will be good for us, our country and for the world. I pray to Allah for our bright future.

Now we are in new year’s eve. Only few moments left before we enter in 2013.  I’m hopping you all are prepared to accept 2013 and let go 2012. Thanks for reading the blog and I’m wishing you Happy new year!!!

 

2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 2,500 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 4 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.