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Many years ago Rabindranath Tagore wrote “এ অনন্ত চরাচরে স্বর্গমর্ত ছেয়ে/ সব চেয়ে পুরাতন কথা, সব চেয়ে/ গভীর ক্রন্দন — ‘যেতে নাহি দিব’। হায়, / তবু যেতে দিতে হয়, তবু চলে যায়।”
[English translation: In this eternal world including the heaven and earth/ The oldest saying, the deepest moan/ “Should not let you go”. Alas, /yet have to let go, yet have to leave]

Until recently I have not fully realized how powerful and meaningful these words are. But now I have realized this is the ultimate truth. In this world people make bond and acts like this bond will last forever. But the truth is it’s not.

By nature human beings are social. Human can’t leave alone. So they make bonds. Some bonds are made automatically like family members and relatives where as some bonds are developed intentionally or unintentionally. For example friends, classmates, soul mates colleagues. Nevertheless, all bonds are temporary. All bonds come to an end eventually. Some bonds last lifetime, some bond last few years and some bonds last few month.

This December of 2015 has been a traumatic month for me. The month started with shock! At first I had to let go someone very close to me. Someone I adored very much, someone I loved very much. I made a promise to never let that person leave. But I had to let go. Apparently, I was not it the position to keep my promise. There have been many variables and most of them totally different from my prediction. At the end, I was not able to keep my promise.

Gap between hands

I was keeping my shock to myself. I tried to be strong. But my fate was full of bad news. On December 3rd, Wahid, another closest person to me, lost his father. We were having a chat just outside of my office. Suddenly he received a news that his father has been hospitalized. He left to attend his father as soon as possible. An hour later he called me with an urgency in his voice. He requested me to join him in the hospital. At first I was having a dilemma as I just entered in my office. But later I decided to leave as early as possible. I reached to the hospital at noon only to see his father is in critical condition. His blood pressure was going high in minutes and doctors were fighting hard to stabilize his blood pressure. His father had two heart attack and his heart was not functioning properly. Doctors tried different approaches and ultimately transferred to ICU. But all efforts went in vain and his father left us all.

It was a sudden shock to Wahid, his family members and to all of us. None of them suspected or predicted such incident. His father was fine in the morning and went to his office. He had tea and chitchat with his colleagues. Soon he started to feel pain in his chest. His colleagues tried massaging the chest and took him to the office infirmary. He was hospitalized when his condition deteriorated.

It was first tragic death I have witnessed. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to say my condolence to wahid and his family. Wahid mother lost scene hearing the news. Her condition became too unstable. I was worried seeing her condition. I knew how it feels after losing someone dearest but still it hearts more seeing a someone lost his/her father, seeing someone lost her husband.

It was good thing Wahis was able to hold himself strong and make his family members strong. Meanwhile I tried talking with his relatives and his father’s colleagues with things to do next. Fortunately they all were supportive and took care of things to be taken care off. They decided to complete the funereal at his native village. In the meantime Manik and our colleagues reached to the hospital. Manik and I decided to stay by Wahid side and accompany his family to Gafargaon, Mymension where their native village was. We attended the funereal and staying at Mymensing that night.

Manik and I returned to Dhaka on next morning. When we were on our way, I heard a news from Zico vai that Hasan vai, who is my first senior at A. Qasem and my one of closest senior bother, lost his father at the night before. It was a great shock to me. I tried to call him and say my condolences but I didn’t not. I lost my words.

Two days later I went to India for official purpose. When I returned to the country, I heard, Jasim vai one of my close colleague, lost his father. I was speechless. I was stunned. I didn’t know what to say or what to do. 3 of my colleagues lost their father and I lost one my dearest person. All in a week. I knew I was having a bad time.

We all had good and strong bond. We strongly held our hands. Thought of letting them go never crossed our mind. But it is the eternal truth that “yet have to let people go”. We had to let them go. Even though none actually wanted to go, we still had to let go others hands.  Eternal fate created a gap between our hands……

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